Saturday, 19 December 2020

Healthy Narcissism

 I came across a video several years ago - 'what we can learn from the dark triad -Narcissism, Machiavelli, and Psychopathy'. All three are risk-takers, have supreme self-confidence, and ruthlessly pursue their goals. We need to pick up these qualities and imbibe them in ourselves. All leaders possess these traits and that is why they have the grit to press on when others have given up. 

We don't need to imbibe the negative side of the dark triad - manipulativeness, lack of remorse, lack of empathy, or abusive behavior. People have been conditioned to believe that showing extreme self-confidence is a sign of arrogance and hence they dislike words such as "ambitious", "ruthless pursuit of goals" etc. One thing that people need to understand is that healthy narcissism is not abnormal and it is different from clinical narcissism. 

Clinical narcissism is of two types - overt and covert. Overt is observable - the person acts entitled and is abusive to people around him/her. But covert is what goes undiagnosed. 

A lot of people especially women who engage in self-loathing behavior fall in the category of covert narcissism. A person who self-loathes, has a "poor me" attitude, practices false humility under the garb of sweet talk is a more dangerous narcissist than the overt narcissist. Because covert narcissists appear like saints on the outside, no one notices the wolf on the inside. This is something that people need to become aware of.

Self-confidence and genuine humility go hand in hand. Low confidence and false humility walk together.

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