This is my reflection on the book Chutzpah by Inbal Arieli. The book is a must read for every parent and educator who want their children to become courageous, risk-takers, and world-changers.
There are great principles that we can learn from Jewish parents raising their children in Israel.
Allowing children to argue and express their opinion - We are generally taught that arguments are bad and children must not question anything. However, we need to encourage arguments based on logical thinking than emotional thinking.
Playing with junk - Israeli schools have a junkyard wherein kindergarten children are encouraged to play with scrap. The junkyard model is now being copied by other schools around the world as children develop collaborative skills, creative and innovative mindsets playing with junk. When we program children to "be careful", we are restricting their creativity by building fear-based barriers.
Children need to be put in situations that have no structured rules so that they adapt fast. They need unsupervised time wherein they carry out their daily responsibilities without interference from adults. The most important task of a parent is to make children independent.
The parenting books and seminars these days, advise parents to reward the child's good behavior. But children need to learn to 'be good and do good' without the expectation of rewards.
Israel is called the startup nation as it has the highest number of startups. The skills required to succeed academically and the skills required to be an entrepreneur are different. Excellence in academics doesn't guarantee that the student will become a risk-taker, innovator, or entrepreneur.
Children must experience failures early in life. We need to create experiences that lead to failures. Those who don't experience failures, don't develop skills to deal with it practically and emotionally later in life. Schools mustn't encourage parents who protest low grades unless the school itself is terribly dysfunctional.
Israelis believe that one should live a normal life despite threats, suicide bombers, and battles. We need to change the way we see threats.
Teenagers in Israel take on adult responsibilities by joining the IDF, Red cross, Volunteer services, and many organizations as soon as they hit adolescence. I believe an adult is defined by their capacity to be responsible and take on responsibilities. In most parts of the world, students go from school to college to universities without gaining real-life exposure. They believe that they become adults after receiving degrees or passing out of college. But I've seen many young people live an extended teenage life - behaving like teens and shirking responsibilities as teenagers do. Teenagers and youngsters must be encouraged to take gap years to integrate with the adult world.
The IDF selection process looks for mental and physical stability in new recruits than their level of education. Skills and potential are more important than certificates. Each one of us needs to look inside ourselves and ask whether our contribution towards the organization we work for or the society at large depends on the certificates we have or the skills we are willing to develop and sharpen. To make a positive contribution one must be driven by a purpose - Tikkun Olam
Israelis believe in speaking to the point rather than beating around the bush trying to be politically correct. This is a skill that I've developed a few years ago and I generally tend to offend people by speaking the facts without sugar coating words and expect others to do the same. Children must learn to express themselves concisely. Practice dugri. Dugri is the Hebrew word for saying things as they are without embellishments, expressing oneself honestly and to the point even if it’s unpleasant.
The IDF teaches soldiers to give brutal feedback to each other when operations fail or succeed. Receiving honest feedback involves keeping aside your ego and defenses. Not many adults can take feedback in the right stride. Children must be trained to receive honest feedback.
Accountability is encouraged. A common mistake people make is to blame someone else and not take responsibility. Let’s say a pilot landing his plane deviated from the runway in crosswind conditions. The pilot could state the right facts, but in answer to “Why did it happen?” he might say, “There was a crosswind.” Such a response prevents the pilot from taking responsibility. The full answer should be, “There was a crosswind, and I didn’t apply enough correction.” IAFs document their mistakes. It’s better to learn from other’s mistakes than make your own.
Israel as a nation has seen several wars intended to annihilate the country. Israelis have experienced persecution and the holocaust. It is this past that has strengthened Israel. It is regarded as one of the strongest countries on the planet. They have the best defense force and the best military equipment in the world.
'We can survive anything' must become a motto in every home and school.
