Declutter your mind

Lockdown day 5

By now most of you must have emptied your inboxes, organized your shelves and put your house in order. We mostly focus on cleaning and organizing things outside ourselves. But seldom do we think of decluttering our mind.

Just as we regularly dispose of garbage to keep our home clean and sickness free, we also have to get rid of stinky thoughts to maintain mental hygiene for the well-being of our loved ones and for our own sanity.

Today, your task is to get rid of useless, irrational, unhealthy and unhelpful thoughts.

Mental weeding

1. Grab a pen and paper. Write down thoughts that make you feel insecure, paranoid, create anxiety, jealousy, anger or hatred.

2. Now take that paper and tear it into small bits and pieces. Dump them in the garbage bin because that is where those thoughts belong.

3. If the unhelpful thoughts pop up in your mind again, challenge them with facts. Don't let your feelings and assumptions of the facts dissuade you.

4. Practice the thought-stopping technique. Issue the command "stop" when you experience unhealthy thoughts.

5. Reduce the use of "what if" in your language especially if it increases your anxiety. Instead, focus on the present.

6. Practice speaking positive self-affirmations - "I am more than enough" "I will get through this", "This problem helps me grow", "My life is beautiful" and so on. When you repeat positive affirmations like you really mean it, the unhealthy thoughts become weak and wither away.

7. Keep yourself engaged in creative and useful activities. Mental weeds are more likely to grow when the mind and body are idle.

Your life is your garden, your thoughts are your seeds. If your life isn't awesome, you've been watering the weeds.

Time for deep cleaning of the mind.



* This is an exercise sent to families that I counsel.

Cowardice versus Courage

The increasing number of cowards in society is causing a decline in ethical conduct - personal and professional.

Let's look at the difference between cowardice and courage. One dictionary defines cowardice as a lack of courage to face danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. Hence, we can define courage as strength and boldness in the presence of danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc. 

What makes some cowards and other heroes? One possibility could be genetic wiring. Another explanation can be upbringing. If the family has a strong foundation of values that govern the behaviour of their members, those members will not let external factors influence them to compromise. Also, a regular dose of tough experiences chisels a person to either become brave or timid depending on how they reacted to those experiences. 

People tend to compromise as it gives them a false sense of security and also maintains peace with the source they are compromising with. They rationalize their lack of ability to speak up, confront or take action with illogical excuses to protect their cowardness. However, this is not true for all humans. There are those who are driven by their convictions and won't retreat in the presence of danger. One such hero is my dad, who is an enormous source of inspiration for me. He has been exposing corruption and fighting for the truth for years despite the physical attacks and threats he received. He forges ahead like a fearless warrior on a battlefield. I strongly believe that no one can claim to be a warrior unless they have bravely faced wars and oppositions. My strong sense of ethics and morality has come by watching my dad stand up for what he believes in every single day. I'm known for my straightforwardness, who will not mince words but will call a spade a spade and I owe this to my dad. The army is made up of valiant men and women. There is no room for cowards.

Men and women of courage are individuals who act - they take action and avoid empty promises. Courageous people are not afraid to stand up or stand alone in the face of challenges, they are not afraid to confront wrongdoing nor are they afraid to expose it. Courage is pervasive - it dominates all aspects of the individual's life because his/her behavior is governed by ethical principles. One cannot be courageous in one situation and coward in another - that is a person who lacks values and ethics and is faking boldness. As Nassim Taleb in his book wrote: "Courage is the only virtue you cannot fake". 

My thoughts on the virus outbreak

The coronavirus has increased hygiene habits among people. Aren't we supposed to be washing our hands and maintain hygiene whether or not there is a virus alert?

Suddenly a lot of people are afraid of catching the virus. How many of us actually take care of our health by eating right, exercising and sleeping well? Aren't we supposed to take of our health on a daily basis?

There are hundreds of people dying every day due to heart related conditions. Are we educating our loved ones about their health or are we indulging them with unhealthy foods?

In 2009, the swine flu outbreak caused a pandemic and now the coronavirus has. One thing is for sure, fear affects your immunity. The more you worry and fear, the more compromised your immune system will be. Instead of focusing on the virus, we should focus on healthy living whether a virus exists or not.