We choose the people we spend time with but we can't completely avoid interacting with those that enjoy throwing their sh*t around.
What to do......
1. When someone gossips.
There is a difference between someone venting out their frustrations about their relationship with XYZ - the direct impact XYZ has had on them and someone fabricating lies about XYZ. Often it is the imagined threat that drives insecure people to gossip with an attempt to damage the other's reputation. The best way to confront a malicious gossiper is to ask point blank "How is that affecting you/ How is what XYZ is doing affecting you?". The question will catch them off guard and they won't have a plausible answer to validate their slanderous remarks.
2. When someone belittles you.
These include friends, co-workers, relatives or people you don't even know like the multitude of internet trolls. People who undermine and ridicule you are dealing with unresolved issues themselves. Ask them "Is there something bothering you?". Most of their attacks stem from jealousy. The question may aggravate them or cause them to reflect. If you want to avoid confronting them, I'd say develop the skill of not giving an eff.
3. When someone lies to you.
It's funny how liars are convinced of their own lies. To catch a liar, ask for details. Liars are more likely to continue spinning tales when you ask - "Who, what, when, which, how?". No matter how skilled a liar is, their tongue is likely to eventually spill out discrepancies thereby exposing their deceit.
4. When someone is always whining.
Some people practice intolerance to such an extent that they deserve an award for constantly cribbing about the food, the weather, the service in first class, the size of their gift, or the rainbow in the sky. Ask them to describe admirable qualities of the very things they feel discontented about. There are real issues that are affecting the society today, ask them to come up with possible solutions for those issues than focus on petty things.
