You Are The Company You Keep

Jim Rohn once said "You are the average of 5 people you spend time with".

This lesson must be taught to your children.

1. In your free time, are you connecting with people who add value to your life? If yes, that's awesome. But if it's a no, then examine who you're spending your time with.

2. We are influenced by the mindsets of others. If your company thinks big, you will be inspired to think big.

3. The values of others also rub off on us when we spend more time with them.

4.Children are prone to peer pressure. They are likely to make wise or foolish choices depending on how they respond to their peers.

5. Make a list of the people who add value to your life. Make a second list to add names of those who you can keep in touch without giving them much of your time. Be objective when doing this.

Continue being a blessing to people around you without letting them influence you.

Have a spectacular day 

Integrity

Integrity is the most important virtue. Humans are capable of lying, cheating and manipulating. But those behaviours don't get too far as they are eventually exposed. What remains forever is integrity. How would you teach your children integrity?

1. Introspect and find out how much truth you've been practicing. Before you preach, correct your own flaws. 

2. Role model. Your children will demonstrate the values you practice. You can inspire and influence your children when you practice what you preach.

3. Teach your children ethics. Ethical living and ethical decision-making are the need of the hour. Moral bankruptcy is rampant and is also worshipped on some platforms which the children are exposed to.

4. Let them experience the consequences of dishonest behaviour. Don't try to save their face. They need to be accountable for the choices they make. 

5. Be a coach, a counsellor, a teacher, a guide, a mentor to your child. Don't make decisions for them but facilitate problem - solving and decision - making skills. 

Deep Reading

Do you read books superficially or deeply?

Deep reading creates a cognitive dissonance and transforms us. We are a different person   after reading the book.

Today's activity is to build deep reading skills.

1. Avoid checking your phone for notifications while reading. Focus only on  the book or the content that is in front of you

2. Underline or highlight the content that is novel, impactful, inspirational or meaningful to you.

3. Read slowly and deliberately. Allow your senses to get immersed in the book.

4. Reading alone is not enough, write down in a journal the things you want to apply to your life.

5. In your journey of becoming a deep reader, don't focus on reading too many books. Take it slow. Understand the book and apply the principles that have inspired you. Once you've mastered the art of deep reading, you can increase the quantity of books which you read each month or year.

Enjoy a beautiful day

Do away with Cognitive Distortions

Are you suffering from cognitive distortions?

Distortions are mental traps that keep a person from enjoying a quality life.  They are thoughts that are false and inaccurate and can cause severe psychological damage. When you act on your distorted thoughts; relationships fall apart, communication breaks down, productivity decreases and you suffer mentally. 

Following are some cognitive distortions. Identify the ones you have.  

1. Mind reading - you assume what other people are thinking about you.

2. Fortune-telling - you predict that things won't work out for you. 

3. Personalization - you take everything happening around you personally and blame yourself for events that are beyond your control. 

4. Overgeneralization - you make blanket statements about people and frequently use words such as “always”, “never”, “everyone”, “no one” in your statements.  

5. Magnification - Making mountains out of a molehill. You make a big deal out of a trivial issue. 

6. Black and white thinking - you believe that people or circumstances are either good or bad - there are no shades of grey. 

7. Negative filter - you overlook the positives in the person or circumstance and focus only on the negatives. 

8. Jumping to conclusions - You make predictions about people, their behaviour and circumstances around you with little or no evidence. 

9. Minimization - You minimize or reduce the significance of important events. 

10. Labelling - You are quick to assign labels to yourself and others. 

Test your distortions - Distortions are a reflection of your core thoughts. Introspect and find out whether your thoughts are based on your feelings or facts. Avoid taking emotions as evidence for the truth. Identifying your distortion is the first step to rational thinking. Just because you're thinking it, doesn't make it a fact. Find evidence for your thoughts. Throw away assumptions and hold on to the facts. 

Relationships and life become smoother when we silence distorted thoughts and become rational thinkers. 

5 Love Languages

Gary Chapman in his book describes five love languages - physical touch, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, and quality time. We all have a dominant love language. And we mostly express love to others based on our own love language rather than theirs. For example, if spending quality time together is your love language and words of affirmation maybe your child's love language, you may assume that spending time together will make your child feel loved. But your child complains that you don't love them. This happens when you are not speaking to them in their love language.

 Find out what is your love language and that of each of your loved ones.

1. Physical touch - holding hands, hugs, cuddles, kisses, gentle touch on the arms or shoulders, sitting close to each other, stroking their hair, group hug. Some parents stop touching their children as they grow older. If your child's love language is physical touch, speak to them in their language.

2. Acts of service - helping to do the dishes, putting the house in order, cooking a meal, checking on you when you're ill, offering to help you without you asking. When someone insists that actions speak louder than words, they are telling you that their love language is an act of service.

3. Words of affirmations - expressing love through words - spoken or written. Appreciation goes a long way if this is your child's love language. Praise, appreciate, say "I love you" often.

4. Gifts - Gifting is a symbol of love. It doesn't matter whether the gift is big or small, worth much, little or handmade as long as you surprise them with gifts.

5. Quality time - sitting,  walking, exercising, playing, and doing things together. It involves giving them your undivided attention. The quantity of time is irrelevant as long as you give them your complete self in the little time that you spend together.

Speak to your loved ones in their love language 💕

Healing Meditation

Today's task is spirituality in action.

1. You could do this activity in several ways - while listening to soothing instrumental music, repeating a certain positive affirmation or scripture or deep breathing - either alone, with your children or the whole family.

2. Close your eyes and imagine light emitting from your heart. That light is divine healing energy. The light travels from you into the hearts of your family members.

3. Imagine the healing energy travelling outside your home and through the streets. Take some time to see the energy spread across a vast area. You see people being healed from their illnesses as your light passes them. Now imagine that the energy which travelled out of your heart is transforming into a huge rain cloud above the city.

4. Showers of healing start raining down on earth, healing people of their affliction.

5. There is power when we pray or meditate together. Let's send healing energy into the world.

Becoming Antifragile

Nassim Taleb in his book Antifragile describes what it takes to become antifragile.

1. A clay pot is fragile. It breaks when it's thrown from a height or is hit with force. A hydra, on the other hand, is antifragile. It grows more heads when one is cut. Are you a clay pot or a hydra? Are you easily offended by others,  perturbed by circumstances or do you get stronger with every battle?

2. To become antifragile you will have to embrace unexpected events, randomness, obstacles, resistance and the ever changing environment.

3. An antifragile not only bounces back from adversity but s/he bounces back higher and stronger. The current lockdown has affected businesses - big and small, many have lost their jobs, people are struggling financially. An antifragile has a strong conviction that s/he will rise again - bigger, better, stronger and more prosperous than ever.

Have a victorious mindset 

Write a love letter to your children

💌

1. Start with the first time you held them in your arms. Describe the day they were born and your feelings in detail.

2. Tell them the things you appreciate about them.

3. Describe your favourite memories with them.

4. Apologize for the things you shouldn't have said. Words can hurt and heal.

5. What do you wish you heard from your parents? There were many things left unsaid and you longed to hear them. Don't let your children suffer that same void. Express your love, and tell them that you're proud of them.

Make a promise that you'll love them unconditionally. 

Make an album of memories

We mostly click pictures of things that are beautiful and awe inspiring. We want to freeze that moment forever in time.

1. Do you remember the day when your child took his/her first steps? You probably grabbed your camera and captured every wobbling step they took. Take pictures today of the mundane things you and your family do. Those mundane pictures will become nostalgia in retrospection.

2. If you have grandparents living with you, take pictures of them with your children. Those pictures will evoke emotions of love when your children look back in time.

3. Take pictures of your smaller children. They grow up too quick. Capture the weird or hilarious things they do.

Don't forget that memories are not just built with pictures but with moments shared together. Enjoy the silly, mundane, funny and silent moments with your loved ones. The best memories are captured in the heart.


Have a wonderful day ❤️

Forgiveness is good for your heart

Today, you'll do an exercise which will help you forgive the injustice done to you by someone close to you. Counsellors use this exercise in therapy sessions to help the clients heal. Many of us carry wounds inflicted by the people we love. 

1. Sit down in a quiet place. Ensure no one disturbs you for at least 20-30 minutes. Put the mobile on silent. 

2. Close your eyes. Take some slow and mindful breathes. Now bring to your mind the name of the person who has hurt you. 

3. Imagine you are walking down a lonely road. It's a deserted place. As you slowly walk, you notice a small child around 2 years of age. That small child is the person who has hurt you. S/he is lost on this lonely road and is looking quite scared and helpless. As you walk closer to that child, you notice the tears running down his/her cheeks.

4. The child stretches out his/her hand to you. You walk closer to that child, bend down, look into his/her eyes and say to him/her "I forgive you".

5. You give the child a long hug and assure that s/he is forgiven. Wipe away the child's tears. Visualize a light emitting from your heart and going into the child's heart. Feel the warmth of the healing light surrounding you both. 

6. Then you slowly take the child's hand and start walking down the road. The child looks up at you every now and then feeling thankful for rescuing him/her. Further down the road, you notice a house. The child points out to that house. You know that s/he belongs there. So you let go your hand and allow the child to walk away from you towards that house. The child turns back to you one more time to say goodbye. 

7. Each time you do this exercise, you will release resentment that has been in your heart for years. Imagining the offender as a small child will help you see that they are also vulnerable like you. Hurt people hurt others. It's time to forgive and move on.

Have a lovely day 😊

Inspire others with your story

Write down a life experience that was challenging but molded you into a tougher person that you are today.

1. Think of that awful experience you had in your personal or professional life. Express it in words. Put it up on a blog. Your story could inspire and empower someone. 

2. Recall the details of that experience - your feelings of vulnerability associated with it. Write down those details vividly. Describe the decision you took to overcome the situation/ challenge/pain. What was the breakthrough moment?

3. You've been down a dark path and survived it. There are others who are walking down similar paths, feeling lost, heartbroken and helpless. Your story can become a source of light, share it.

Make your day awesome 😊

Give rest to your mind and body

You've worked hard the entire week. Take a day off. Do as less as you can. Rest days are as important as working days.

1. Rest allows your body to recover from the wear and tear that took place through the week. It prepares you for the week ahead. You're more likely to be productive if you've given yourself enough time to recuperate. Rest also improves your ability to concentrate and make rational decisions.

2. Give your mind rest from gadgets and news. You could watch something that soothes your mind. Engage is activities that make you feel calm - listening to instrumental music, stroking your pet, practicing mindfulness, painting, etc

3. Teach your children, the benefits of a good night's sleep and a day's rest. Many teens and adults underestimate the repercussions of poor sleep habits. Several mental health problems stem when people compromise on sleep and exhaust themselves. Make it a family practice that everyone is in bed at a fixed time every night. Ensure that weekends are meant to rejuvenate.


Have a relaxed Sunday 😊

Dance

Today, awaken the child within you. Let go off your shyness and connect with your children through the medium of dance.

1. When parents dance with their children, they move from the ego-centric to the we-centric stage.

2. Put on a happy music and start moving your body. Stand next your child and start doing easy steps.

3. Dance together - first next to each other, then facing each other and finally holding hands with each other.

Some merry music videos to get you dancing:

https://youtu.be/ru0K8uYEZWw

https://youtu.be/WTJSt4wP2ME

https://youtu.be/ZbZSe6N_BXs

Have a celebration today 😊

Know who YOU are

If you're asked Who are you? how would describe yourself after telling them your name? Would  you tell them about your occupation?Your role in the family? Gender? Nationality? Etc.

Many of us have an identity crisis. We don't know who we are.

In the following days start defining yourself.

1. You are a divine being. You are not ordinary. You have divinity within you. You're a source of love and compassion.

2. You're here for a divine purpose. There is more to life than earning,  eating, or sleeping. Find out what is your purpose. 

3. Make a list of words that define you. These words must be positive and uplifting.

4. Sit still for a few minutes every day, look deeply inside yourself, do some soul searching.

5. As a child, you probably knew who you are but growing up your identity got lost in people's definition about you. Use this time given to you to find out your true identity.


Wish you a joyful day 😊

Heart Sanitizer

Some of us are pros at keeping our bodies and surroundings clean. But we hardly think about cleaning the heart.

Let's see how to sanitize your heart against viruses.

1. Do not dwell too much on fearful news. The more you think about it, the more you let the fear virus make your heart weak. Whenever fear strikes you, stand up straight, with shoulders broad, thump your chest and say "I'm going to get through this".

2. If you notice the envy virus creeping its way into your heart. Wash it off by reminding yourself that you are a wonderful and worthy person, that you have a significant role in this world that no other person can fulfill, except you.

3. The excuse virus is known to stop people from achieving anything. It makes them faint-hearted.  Destroy the virus by taking action for the things you want to get done.

4. The addiction virus is widespread. It's destroying more relationships than any other virus. Make a list of your addictions and stop feeding them. The virus will starve to death and you'll be free again.

5. You probably heard the phrase forgive and forget. You may not forget the wrong or injustice done to you but you can let go of the resentment virus by not engaging in self-pity. See yourself as a stronger and wiser person than a victim.

Courage, love and integrity are the best sanitizers for keeping the heart clean and strong. Use them every day.

Enjoy a happy day ♥️

Be an asset not a liability

I've come across a lot of people who are gems to their organizations and others who are bad hires.  When I speak to co-workers, their language and attitude towards work tells me whether they are an asset or a liability. Based on my experience, I've put down a few points on how to be an asset wherever you are.

1. Do away with excuses. Excuses will not help you achieve anything.  They will keep you from overcoming your fears and being your best self. Excuses do not fool others, in fact, they fool you by giving you a false sense of security.

2. Show up every time. Unless you're medically incapable of using your hands and legs, show up whenever and wherever you're expected.

3. Be resourceful. Find opportunities to make meaningful contributions to your customers and the organisation that you serve.

4. Be proactive. Do not say "It's not my job". Nobody became successful by saying that. All successful people said "yes" to responsibilities.

5. If you want to lead, you must first learn to be a good follower. A lot of people want to lead but are rebels to the core when it comes to obedience. You cannot lead others when you cannot lead yourself.

6. 'Be faithful in small things and you will be faithful with bigger responsibilities. But if you're dishonest with small things, you will be dishonest with bigger responsibilities' - Luke 16:10. I strongly believe this.

7. Do your work sincerely, not just for 'eyeservice'.  A lot of people speak falsely about the work they did or are doing. They eventually get caught in their web of lies. Integrity is important. Don't compromise it.

Hygge

Pronounced as 'hu - gah' refers to the Danish way of living. It is also referred to as slow living. Hygge is a way of celebrating life and it's simplicity. 

The core of Hygge is consciously and intentionally creating coziness.

1. Make your house a cozy place.  Light candles in the evening, grab a hot cup of chocolate or tea and snuggle with your loved ones.

2. Slow living is saying "yes" to life. It's appreciating the simple things around us. Minimalist living is the essence of Hygge

3. Reuse or recycle. If you don't like things lying around your house, don't throw them away. Instead, donate it so someone less fortunate can reuse it.

4. The slow way of living includes reading books. Limit your exposure to T.V shows and read books that inspire, build or take you on a journey to a magical land.

5. Disconnect from your phones and reconnect with your loved ones. Cherish these moments as time moves fast.


Have a blissful day 

Be hopeful in the midst of storm

Hope gives us strength to endure, it makes us optimistic in the face of challenges and it gives us a reason to live.

1. Teach your children to look for the silver lining in every dark cloud. Research shows that hopeful students enjoy academic success, high quality friendship and are problem-solvers. While those who lack hope are more likely to feel anxious or depressed.

2. Practice what you preach. When things go wrong, look for the positives. Your children will observe and learn how you deal with setbacks, failures or disappointments.

3. Optimistic people are known to live longer and happier life. Speak hopeful words everyday. No situation is permanent. Even the most darkest event can become a golden link to add richness and meaningfulness to your life. Read the book Man's search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl.

Enjoy a hope filled day ⚓

Be an Eagle

There are many lessons to learn from an eagle.

1.Eagles don't eat dead prey. They are not scavengers. They go for fresh meal. Put away old, unhealthy, unhelpful habits and ways of thinking which made you sick. Feed yourself with fresh, healthy and helpful ingredients to renew your mind and body.

2. Eagles love storms. While other birds hide for cover during storms, the eagle loves the challenge of flying into one. In this VUCA world things change fast, you have to accept these challenges quick to fly through them gracefully. Accept randomness as part of every day life. The more you embrace challenges, the readier you are for the next storm - In Omnia Paratus.

3. Eagles soar high. They have standards. Let go of the mediocre mindset that made you feel helpless and powerless.

 "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big" - Donald Trump

Overcome your mental obstacles today 🦅

Appreciate the beauty in nature

"Look deep into nature and you will understand everything better"- Albert Einstein. Today, take time to open your eyes and appreciate the abundance of beauty around you by indulging your senses.

1. Marvel at the colourful evening sky or the starlit sky at night which reminds you that you are significant part of the whole creation.

2. Let you heart and ears be filled with the sounds of the songbirds, the clatter of rain, and the psithurism around you.

3. Breathe in the scents of the earth, the fragrance of your flowering garden, the aroma of sweet coffee or the whiff of your sweet smelling perfume.


Enjoy a beautiful day 😊

Self Appreciation

Turn the kindness inwards.Consciously acknowledge the goodness in you. Don't wait for others to validate you. You are your own cheerleader.

1. Speak good things to yourself. Positively affirm yourself when looking into the mirror, when things get out of hand, when you're under pressure, when you're facing challenges. Practice positive affirmations everyday till they become your inner dialogue.

Following are helpful links with female and male voice to help you on journey of self-affirmation.

https://youtu.be/Wxryitwneaw

https://youtu.be/ZssjZnsN4Gg

2. Speak good things about yourself to others. Do not boast nor demean yourself.

3. Forgive yourself for the mistakes and the wrong turns you've taken in the past. Liberate yourself from judgements made by people about you.

4. Remind yourself that there is a purpose for your life. You've come this far and you should be proud of yourself.

5. Nourish your body. Treat it with compassion and reverence.

Enjoy falling in love with yourself 😊

Engage in healthy nostalgia

Research has shown that nostalgia helps reduce feelings of boredom and loneliness. It also helps restore relationships.

Rewind

1. Go through old albums and photographs - pictures of your childhood, school, parents, grandparents, wedding pics and so on. Look at each of them and savour the special, warm feelings arising inside your heart.

2. Time to introduce your children to the music you listened to in good old days. Take them back to the 60s, 70s or 80s. Play songs which have special memories attached to it. Share those memories with your children.

3. There are ample of videos online of the T.V shows you watched in your childhood. Take time to watch a few today.

4. Relive the beautiful sentiments attached to important person(s) in your life, a joyful vacation you took, a captivating scene that is etched in your mind, your first pet or the friends from long time ago.

5. Play an old fashioned game. Teach your children that one can have fun without technology.

Yesterday once more.

Enjoy a happy trip down memory lane 😊