Expressing contempt is a way of indirectly saying “you are not worthy of my respect”. Many of us have been guilty of showing contempt to our loved ones and were not even aware of it.
Here are some indicators for you to introspect:
1. Paul Ekman, a researcher who studied emotions for decades, described facial expressions that indicate contempt - the corner of the lip is pulled back and slightly upwards. It's a mild sneer and the only universal asymmetrical facial expression. Additionally, scrunching your face or rolling your eyes indicates that you are minimizing the other.
2. Making ‘ugh’ sounds. Sometimes we make the ‘ugh’ sound when we are physically exhausted. However, we also make the sound to show contempt. For instance, your spouse excitedly calls you to the window to watch the thunderstorm and you choose to make a grumpy ‘ugh’ sound because you consider it silly to watch the thunderstorm. Another example, your senior parent repeats the same things umpteen number of times and you respond with an ‘ugh’ sound accompanied with an irritated facial expression. The more ‘ughs’ you give, the more that person will pull away from you because you’re belittling them.
3. What does the tone of your voice indicate, do you speak with disdain? No matter how extravagant your vocabulary, if your tone of voice is sarcastic or harsh, you are demeaning the other.
Become aware of how you respond to the people around you. Your micro facial expressions, tone of voice and body language speak louder than your words. Contempt is an inner disdain - a projection of one’s shame on the other. Put it away.
Be compassionate 
No comments:
Post a Comment