Thursday, 4 October 2018

How to catch a troublemaker

When someone tries to get under your skin with their lies, you know you're dealing with a troublemaker. They will often quote "she said, he said or they said". The person will try to convince you, that what they are saying to you is true, by falsely quoting another person. They will also use triangulation to relay false information between you and another party. This tactic is widely used in organizations by bullies to harass their target and is often used by wreckers in personal relationships to instigate one against the other. In most cases, the troublemaker constructs a fictional story in their head and feeds it to your ears but claims that story has come from another source.

"S/he said that you ......." - fill in the blanks of the false things you've heard about yourself. Most of the times, listening to false allegations, rumors and gossips may have resulted in feelings of dejection or caused your nostrils to flare in anger.

Troublemakers enjoy spinning a web of deception to conceal their devious schemes. And they often have a rich experience at it. You are presented with no evidence nor facts that support their claims. At times the troublemaker will find some more troublemakers to gang up against you.

The lie is the primary weapon and facts are often twisted when someone is motivated with an intention to cause you trouble.  

You could choose to ignore them, walk away or expose them. I found the best way of dealing with such person/s is by publicly confronting them and their intentions, particularly, in front of the those they misquote - at work or in personal life. Yes, they will deny, act clueless or fight back but truth and facts are your supreme weapons. 




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